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Lost In Space

Or is it Star Trek meets Lost? I give up....

A Connected Series of Statements....

This sketch needs no introduction....

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For the full story click on the BBC news website here. The same story is also covered here at iafrica, and on many other sites just in case you're thinking it's a spoof.

La France - c'est moi!

Charles de Gaulle, considered by many the most influential leader in modern French history, was born in 1890 into an old aristocratic family with roots in Burgundy and Normandy. He grew up in the city of Lille in northern France, in a devoutly Roman Catholic family. He served as an officer in the First World War, became a Brigadier General during World War Two and was one of the leaders of the Free French Forces exiled in England after the fall of France to the Germans in 1940. When France was liberated in 1944 he became prime minister. After the Algerian Crisis in 1958 he came to power again and founded the Fifth Republic, of which he was elected President.

During his term of office, which lasted until his retirement in 1969, de Gaulle was always a controversial figure, extremely proud of his country, and opposed to what he saw as too much U.S. and British influence in European affairs. Under his leadership France enjoyed several years of economic growth and prosperity. He once proclaimed that 'France cannot be France without greatness.'

He was also heard to remark on one occasion, 'How can anyone govern a nation that has 246 different kinds of cheese?'

And he was a very proud man. 'I have heard your views.' he said. 'They do not harmonize with mine. My decision is taken unanimously.'

One day in 1968 de Gaulle's confessor came to visit him, in between an audience with the British Ambassador and a dinner with veterans from the French Foreign Legion.  'Mon Général!' thundered the priest, 'You are too proud! As a good Catholic you must publicly demonstrate your devotion to Our Lord. If you don't, you will surely be doomed to spending eternity in purgatory.'

De Gaulle was surprised. 'D'you really think so?' he asked. He scratched his head. 'Let me see. How about if I build a big church in the centre of Paris and dedicate it like this - from the Father of France to the Son of God - how does that sound?

The priest shook his head. 'No,' he said, 'What are you thinking of? That's still far too vain.'

The president frowned and thought for a moment. Then his face brightened. 'What if it says - from President Charles to Baby Jesus - would that be better?'

'No, no,' replied the priest, looking doubtful. 'That won't do at all. Allow me to make a suggestion.'

De Gaulle drew himself up to his full height, and folded his arms. 'Do go on,' he said.

'As I see it,' said the priest nervously, 'And this is also the official line from the Vatican....'

'Yes?' said the president.

'We think the best thing for you to do to show your humility would be to make a widely publicized pilgrimage to Lourdes.'

'Lourdes?' said de Gaulle. 'Of course! Why didn't I think of that?'

He picked up the phone and asked his secretary to bring in his appointment book.

'Now let me see,' he muttered, leafing through the pages. 'Tuesday's out - I've got some African king coming. Wednesday's not much good either - I'm giving a speech at the Military Academy in the morning and then opening an art exhibition with Malraux. I won't be free until about four o'clock.'

He paced around the office for a while, thinking.

'Ok,' he said. 'Lourdes could be possible on Wednesday evening. I think I could make an apparition at around six thirty.'